A Step by Step guide to Helping your Child through Anxiety

Remember that every child is different and has different challenges and needs. Use the advice as inspiration and not 1:1 coping strategies ♡

1) Remember, that there’s a reason behind every feeling or irrational action. Try to identify the underlying emotion, and do not blame your child for reacting to something, before you have figured out what this emotion is. Follow the mantra, there is always a reasonable explanation for your child’s behaviour.

2) If your child feels afraid or anxious, set aside your own needs and acknowledge your child’s feelings. Assure them that you are there now and will not be leaving them. First and foremost, your child needs your presence – not necessarily your words. Sit close without any expectations. Although we adults know that life is unpredictable and unfair at times, it is important to calm your child without too many complicated explanations. We shouldn’t involve our children in our adult thoughts. 

3) Create a safe place physically or mentally. It can be something your child loves or a place they feel comfortable thinking about when the “scared thoughts” show up. It helps to think of something you love, while distancing the feeling responsible for leaving the child scared. A safe place is not the same as avoiding discussion around all kinds of feelings, it’s just a helpful place that allows for a better view on the situation. 

4) When a child responds to something such as fear, it is often because there is something the child cherishes that is under some kind of threat. Being able to meet the child on common ground is of huge importance for how the child will respond to you. We want our children to feel heard, acknowledged and loved. We can only achieve this if we understand what happened prior to their fearful reaction. 

5) Should the situation occur often, take a breath and do not feel afraid to articulate and ask your child about whether the same fear is causing it. Start from step one and proceed without overreacting. How we teach our children to handle their feelings and perceive the world is crucial for how they will handle it as adults too.

6) How you behave and react directly indicates how your child will respond. Don't say, 'Mummy is scared of burglars too,' but keep calm in your facial and bodily language. Even though you want to be authentic, it is not always about being 100% true in all your actions. Small children have little information, and bigger children have more information.

7) It can be helpful to create some rituals to reassure your child that there are no monsters in the room. Before going to sleep, you can look under the bed, in the closet, and behind the curtains to help your child sleep better. This is usually only necessary for a short period of time and should be reasonable.